How do you experience happiness?

Posted on by

 

If we all can agree that one thing we want is to be happy, then the next question to ask is “How do you want to experience that happiness?”  Often we get caught up in this idea of things that will make us happy.  And most of the time those things are tied to money in some way whether it’s a better paying job, ability to go on vacation, a bigger house, a new car, and so on.

But if you can put all those material things aside and think about how you truly experience happiness, what does that look like for you?  There may be a material component but if you start examining the experience and impact of that experience; the material things will become less significant and ultimately less powerful.

Another pitfall that happens when it comes to discussion of happiness is the one related to circumstances. This happens when we think certain people make us happy or we are only happy in specific environments or even only on certain days (insert TGIF).  We also get caught up in constant comparison of other people and their circumstances.  When we deny our own successes and potential under the umbrella of criticisms and insecurity, we reinforce a life of separation and fear.

The question is simply stated but the answer, I suspect, is as complex as we are individuals.  How we experience happiness is not something that can be manufactured, prescribed, or taught.  It cannot be purchased, bartered, withheld or stolen. It’s not about denying pain or heartache. It is about using our positive experiences to create a natural state of resiliency that sustains us through that pain and heartache.

Happiness is about presence, perception, and engagement.  It’s about being able to recognize blissful moments and understand their significance.  It is about accepting a reality of possibilities that include an infinite source of love and kindness.  It’s about being intentional with your interactions every day.

When we start perceiving our happiness as an experience that we create versus something that is done to us or given to us, we become more confident that it can be sustained even in the face of sorrow, grief, or heartache.  And even more importantly, when we are able to perceive the reality of what generates happiness within our life, we begin to experience that reality in more abundance than we could have ever imagined.

River Edge

 

 

 

Advertisement

Setting goals without creating limits

Posted on by

What was the last goal you set for yourself?  Did you make it?  How did you feel afterwards?  Was your success of that goal the motivation for your next one?

Goals are critical in assisting us with determining a direction that we want to go and ultimately sustain a level of satisfaction and contentment within our life.  And the process of setting goals is a very empowering, as long as we don’t set ourselves up with limits at the same time.

This happened to me the other day as I was huffing and puffing on the treadmill.  I had set a goal to work out for 30 minutes.  The problem was not the goal of working out for 30 minutes, it was the fact that as soon as my fancy little timer hit 30:00, I immediately hit the “STOP” button.  As I cooled off and got my heart rate down, it occurred me that I could easily have worked out for another 10 or 15 minutes or engaged in another type of exercise. In my head, all I had to do was the 30 minutes.  It didn’t matter that I could do more just as it would not have mattered if I had started working out and realized that I could only do 15 minutes that day.  The goal of working out and moving my body had become my limitation of working out for only 30 minutes.

This is a very concrete example, but it lends to thinking about more abstract goals in your physical, emotional, and spiritual life.  Have you ever created a goal for yourself and simply stopped when you reached a particular finish line?  Or perhaps you didn’t meet the goal and quickly negated all of the work you had successfully accomplished because it didn’t meet the ideal outcome that you had created in your mind. You have to consider if a particular goal results in feeling exhausted and relieved or if the goal instills satisfaction and inspiration within you.

When we set a goal that speaks to our deepest intuition, the simple acts of working towards it create satisfaction within themselves. It is crucial to create an environment that is compassionate, understanding, and realistic versus critical, absolute, and judgmental.

As with anything, this is a practice.  The next time you are working on a particular goal, remind yourself of your intention, your abilities, and your resources.  This establishes guidance, strategies, and determines direction.  Goals are meant to be specific and measurable, but they are not meant to limit or restrict us.

When we start with the awareness of ourselves and all of our amazing potential, our actions become more fluid and goals become our new reality.  When we do all of this, we can easily increase experiencing life with more Love, Understanding, Compassion, and Kindness.  After all, a little LUCK is always helpful when we are working on any goal.  🙂

Explore Yourself

 

Need space?

Posted on by

IMG_3915

Regardless of annual income, or lack thereof, the only real estate that we all have guaranteed to us is our own personal space.  I’m not talking the walls that house and shelter you, I’m talking about the intangible energies that embody who we are and how we conduct ourselves.  We are constantly maintaining, creating, and promoting the space around us.  Think about the last time you said, “I just need some space.”  What is it that you were craving at that time?  My guess would be you were looking for a sense of peace, calm, or perhaps clarity that seemed unattainable at that moment.

A combination of our thoughts, perceptions, and ongoing behaviors create the space that we call our own and each of those things perpetuate either positive or negative energy around us.  What I continue to learn most is that if I am in a place of fear, uncertainty, insecurity, and separation…I tend to react with tension and even anger to people around me.  However, when I’m relaxed, feeling connected to the world around me, and open; I am more likely to experience patience, tolerance, and warmth to those very same people and circumstances.  Notice, I said, “more likely”.  It’s not as if we become immune to all those things, but perhaps we become more adaptable.

All sorts of things can negatively impact the equilibrium we experience within our personal space and at the end of the day it is up to us to decide if there is going to be a small ripple of a current or an all-out smashing wave of discontent that smacks us in the face. It may be the ongoing responsibilities that seem to pile up during the work day.  But it can also be the uncomfortable feeling when you are not feeling yourself and someone close to you asks what’s wrong and you simply don’t know how to put your feelings into words.  Often though, it’s that sense that the world is crashing down, things are changing too fast, and nothing feels certain.

Whatever the case, we can arm ourselves with tools that help us create, maintain, and promote the best possible space around us that is full of love and hope.  I’m not suggesting we put our heads in the sand and pretend that bad things don’t happen or that some days are not going to be harder than others.  However, if we become intentional about our personal space and diligently assess our interactions, we will begin to realize whether our perceptions, thoughts, and actions are being impacted by fear and uncertainty.  And ultimately through increased awareness, we can determine if the space we need is a complex layers of a process which identifies our true need…which is love.